I used to measure a good mentoring session by how much I said.
I was wrong.
The sessions people remember are the ones where I mostly listened, and asked one good question at the right moment.
When you tell someone the answer, you hand them a fish.
When you ask them the right question, you hand them a way of thinking they keep forever.
So try this the next time someone comes to you stuck.
Before you explain anything, ask them to walk you through what they have already tried.
Nine times out of ten they find their own gap while they are talking.
You barely had to say a word, and they leave feeling capable instead of rescued.
That feeling matters more than you think.
A mentee who solves it with a nudge from you believes they can do it again.
A mentee who watches you solve it believes they need you.
You do not want to be needed.
You want to be outgrown.
The hard part is your ego.
It feels good to be the one with the answer.
It feels slower and quieter to ask, wait, and let someone struggle in front of you.
But mentoring is not a performance of how much you know.
It is a service to how much they grow.
So talk less.
Ask more.
Sit in the silence after your question a little longer than is comfortable.
The people you guide will rise to fill that space.
And one day they will ask someone else a good question instead of just telling them the answer.
That is the whole point.
– Asael Shinder
