Why does every tonic make me 'hot' while my hands stay cold?

It is not that you cannot take nourishing things. It is that the fire never reaches where it is needed.

Start with the soup pot

A good slow soup needs a low, steady flame. That is how the flavour comes out.
Turn the flame up and the soup boils over — it hisses onto the stove, and the fire underneath goes out.
Getting mouth ulcers and sleepless nights from anything nourishing, while your hands and feet stay cold, is that picture:
it spilled over at the top, and there is no fire left at the bottom.

Who this is for

Anything spicy, warm or nourishing gives you heat symptoms;
Your hands and feet are cold all year, your lower back feels cold;
Ulcers, spots and poor sleep above, cold below.

One line worth keeping

It is not that you added too little. It never travelled down.

What you are probably doing

When the heat shows up you drink cooling herbal tea — the top calms a little, the bottom gets colder.
When you feel weak you add more tonics — more heat on top, still cold below.
(And the strong coffee from yesterday was simply more flame under the pot.)

Try this for two weeks

1. Warm the road first: a basin of hot water for your feet for ten minutes before bed — warm is enough, do not soak until you sweat heavily.
2. Stop adding fire: chilli, alcohol, lamb, late nights — pause for two weeks.
3. Drink warm, not iced. Iced drinks put out the small fire you do have.