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I have been a developer for a number of years, working my way from graduate junior to now an experienced senior, I have loved the climb and generally known when it felt right to move onwards and upwards.
A bit of background: I was working for a startup which should have gone live by or roughly around the time the pandemic hit. The small team thought we had got the system in a place to have been live but the founder was hesitant and when the pandemic hit pulled the plug all together on the project and the company focus switched drastically to a domain I was not familiar with nor ever felt a need to be part of (I'd had bad experiences of this domain before).
It got to the point where my workload pretty much depleted to nothing, yet the company was growing in number and the people who seemed to have been handed responsibility for my work became massive bottlenecks as they didn't know what they were doing. I spent 2 weeks telling the founder the equipment provided for my role was inadequate and yet nothing was done until I asked for one of the cloud dev environments the company was supposed to have rolled out 2 years before but hadn't although it was still on the todos list.
Feeling redundant I sought new employment and successfully gained employment elsewhere. Now on probation I find it hard to get going at the full power I once was at, forever saying nothing because my opinion obviously doesn't mean very much if my last company just glossed over it, I am scared of failing probation and failing the family my energetic and eager approach to my coding career now supports.
Is this burnout? Do I just need to get confidence back by being my best and letting my new team decide its merits for themselves? Do I need to stop worrying I am the sole provider for my family?
